


You Are What You Eat

by FleetSparrow



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Community: dckinkmeme, Drugs, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:21:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26560582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleetSparrow/pseuds/FleetSparrow
Summary: Damian needs to learn not to steal food that's not his.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne
Comments: 2
Kudos: 73





	You Are What You Eat

**Author's Note:**

> Continuing in my loose saga of Damian eating/drinking things not meant for him.

He’s been laughing for five minutes now. Well, it hasn’t been five minutes straight through. The giggles come up here and there, like bubbles on a pond. That’s a funny thought. Bubble giggles. Biggles? Buggles? Gubbles?

That’s even funnier.

He’s got to keep it together, keep himself focused, but he just can’t stop laughing.

This must be a Joker attack. What else would make him lose himself like this?

But how? How could the Joker get into the Manor to do this to him?

HHHHOOOOWWWWW????

* * *

“Hey, guys? Has anyone seen my edible?” Tim asked, poking his head into the parlor.

Dick and Jason looked at each other. “No.”

“Where’d you leave it last?” Dick asked.

“On the island. I took it out to warm up and--”

“Oh!” Dick said, rising.

Jason and Tim looked at him.

“What?”

“I think I know where it went,” Dick said. He motioned for them to follow and slipped out of the room. He led them up to Bruce’s study, where Damian was shouting.

“Father, this is serious! The Joker is here and you’re laughing!”

“I’m not laughing, Damian,” Bruce said. “You are.”

“But it’s not funnyyyyy!”

Dick opened the door and led them in. “Found the cause.”

Damian whirled around to face Dick, his eyes bloodshot and nearly closed, despite his best efforts to open them as wide as possible.

“Grayson! Father won’t listen to me.”

“I am, Damian,” Bruce said.

“It’s OK, Damian,” Dick said, going over to him. He stroked Damian’s short hair. “Why don’t we go lie down for a while?”

“No lies, Grayson. Only justice!”

Jason clamped both hands over his mouth, trying to stop from laughing. Tim groaned and slapped his forehead.

“Oh no!”

Dick shook his head and steered Damian away by the shoulders. “You explain, Tim.”

“Please do, Timothy,” Bruce said, his voice even.

Dick didn’t wait to hear how that conversation came out. He just guided Damian back to his room.

“Grayson. The Joker is out there somewhere.”

“I know, Damian.”

“Grayson. Why can I taste textures?”

“That’ll happen.”

“Grayson! You smell yellow!”

“That’s curious,” Dick said, finally getting Damian into bed and under the covers. “Try to sleep, Damian.”

“But the Joker!” He squinted at Dick. “Why am I so hungry? Grayson, tell Pennyworth to make me some soup!”

Dick smiled and waved his hand. “Poof! You’re soup!”

Damian stared at Dick, then slowly looked to the ceiling. “I _am_ soup.”

Dick tried in vain to hold in his laughter. “I’m sorry, Damian,” he said, between laughs. “Do you want me to stay with you? I’ll protect you.”

“I need the antidote, Grayson.”

Dick mimed giving Damian a shot, then kissed the “injection” site. “There. That protects against Jokers, munchies, and cooties. Is that better?”

“You’ve always been silly, Grayson,” Damian said. Being tucked in bed was helping. His laughter had stopped and he was beginning to doze. “Silly Grayson, Trix are for kids….”

Dick smiled and kissed Damian’s forehead. “That’s right. Go to sleep, Damian. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

Damian mumbled as Dick climbed into bed beside him. Once Dick was tucked in, Damian clung to his side like a koala.

“And when you wake up, Damian, we’ll have a talk about you stealing other people’s food.”

Damian just drooled on him in response.


End file.
